Spook season is upon us, so we thought we’d take a frightful walk down memory lane and revisit some of those skeletons in the musical closet.
School talent shows are the source of a lot of embarrassment for kids, whether it’s having to sit through some excruciatingly under par singing or watching a “dynamic duo” do a “comedy sketch”. For me, it was the Year 6 talent show. I swaggered onto the stage with my mate wearing a filthy green polo with white stripes, three-quarter-length shorts and the classic silver Nike Total 90 Astro turfs. The talent was popping, including the magician who eventually went on to conquer the whole school. In all honesty, it’s cringeworthy to look back on, but at the time I felt like a fucking king.
We were the last act to go on, the headliner if you will, and we had spent the whole evening before prepping in front of the TV in my living room: we were ready. We took up our starting positions and commenced a dance routine that I can only describe in one word: iconic. The song began: “This is something new, the Casper slide part two…” Yes. We did ‘The Cha Cha Slide’. We didn’t make any moves up, we didn’t even consider that. We just did what DJ Casper told us to for almost four excruciating minutes. Not only did we put zero effort in, I fucked up a Charlie Brown and we didn’t make it through. In hindsight, the disappointment I felt was not justified because we hadn’t tried – nonetheless, it was gutting to find out that even when we are told how to dance, we still weren’t good enough. The upside was the many autographs I signed after, and the consequential character-building this defeat gave me.
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