THE BALANCE, LIKE THE RIDE, LIKE THE BALCONY

The Balance like The Ride like The Balcony is black and white, straight shooting, and ultimately the same, except this time, there’s a fuckin’ toucan kickin’ about.


There has been little to no progression, as you can see in the band’s album artworks, since their 2014 debut. The coca-cola toucan on this year’s irrelevant cover ironically sees the band squawking out the same formula, verse-chorus, verse-chorus, bridge. Any hopes of an environmentalist perspective from the artwork is quickly pissed on by Mccann’s lyrics, what five years ago seemed quiet colloquially witty now has amounted to three albums of “writing about a girl” songs and then to change it up, he’ll have a fag with her.


The music itself is bland. Bass drum heavy and epic-chorus-led, the mix exudes money and money only. It is simple and consumable, but lacks longevity, there’s no creative spark. Ironically the albums most interesting part is it’s “Intermission”- as with their earlier “Hourglass”- a moment for McCann to totally take control, the guitar is something new and hypnotic but, as with the entirety of the Catfish and the Bottlemen discography, it leaves little beyond its face value of 1 minute and 30 seconds. “Overlap” begins with good intentions, different rhythm and guitar, nice melody, before “SURPRISE!” we’re back at just about any point in any song on the album, the only respite being that the song finishes abruptly via a glitch one second before its scheduled end on Spotify. I imagine fans will most likely be undeterred from this re-pressed and re-marketed hollow record as it fulfils nearly every tick point that we’ve come to expect, laid out for you below in a dummies guide to writing a Catfish song…

1. Include big shouty choruses.
2. Write lines regarding the world as mean, preventing something, or being in the way.
3. Don’t forget an EPIC guitar solo, preferably ¾ of the way in.
4. Must use quiet lyrics before a big build up, remember surprise them with another shouty chorus after.
5. Must not, I repeat, must not, change the beat, pace or soundscape – this is vital!