Tove Lo has released a collection of club anthems, destined to be danced to at Newcastle’s seedy trebles bars and the worst possible clubs you can imagine up and down the UK. A heart-attack of bombastic beats, like the Octuple Bypass Burger (+ 40 slices of bacon) they serve at the Heart Attack Grill in fabulous Las Vegas, Nevada. It’s like any burger that’s too big for your stomach – in this case, the case of the Octuple burger, where there is genuinely 8 fucking slices of meat, it may even be taller than you – you take one bite, the bite being that of ‘Gritty Pretty (Intro)’ and ‘Glad He’s Gone’, and it’s delicious. It’s a superb start and the rest of the meal, or to talk more literally, the album, appears promising.
It then dives horrifically downwards. ‘Glad He’s Gone’ is the meal’s peak. A superbly crafted pop song that leaves you with a warm feeling inside before you hit the third patty and instantly regret your decision. The meat sweats have started and you’re about to throw up. Your face is getting redder, your stomach is screaming at you to stop, but somehow, there’s an element of you that is enjoying this. You know it’s bad, you know it’s unhealthy, you know the best bit is well and truly behind you, but you’re enjoying it to an extent, and that sickens you even more so than the fifth patty you just about manage to keep down.
Tove Lo’s Sunshine Kitty is nothing new. I probably won’t go back to it, just like I’ll probably never have a burger ever again. I cannot even decide whether I enjoyed the experience or not, but as an album, just like an octuple bypass burger, it leaves a lot to be desired.
Haiku Review
Are you hungry yet?
Eyes bigger than your belly.
Waste not want not, right?
Listen to Tove Lo on Spotify and Apple Music.
